Well, here we are. Day 1. Let me preface this whole experience by saying: The decision to change your life isn't a hard thing to do. It's the follow thru. I've made a dozen or so attempts to begin a healthy lifestyle, but this is the first time I've taken it upon myself to blog and team up with a trainer and a group to keep me going.
I will love, it, I will hate it, I will whine and cry about it, but in the end, I will keep going. Some days will be deep, soul searching days, and other days will be freaking hilarious. I am allowed to laugh at myself, and call myself names, just so long as it doesn't keep me from my goals. My boyfriend's brother=in=law gets upset when I call myself fat, but let's face it, I've seen myself in a mirror. The difference these days is not my size, but the way I feel about myself. Sam has made me feel beautiful, sexy, and desirable, just the way I am. And I love him for it. But the shallow girl in me wants to sit on his lap without crushing him, or sit in a normal lawn chair without being terrified that it's going to collapse, or climb the pool ladder without knowing deep in my gut that one of these days, I'm going to break the damn thing. Things have weight limits, and I am well over most of them.The real reasons behind me wanting and needing this is pretty straight forward. I can see myself having a family with him, but it is dangerous for both me and a baby to be pregnant when i'm over 350 pounds on a good day. There's just no way either one of us would survive. And there it is...that big ugly number. I am over 370 pounds, within sniffing distance of 400 pounds, and it is humiliating. I know damn good and well that Sam will still love me if he knew, but I would be stupid to kid myself into thinking it wouldn't change the way he looks at me just a little bit.So, the journey...begins NOW.
Starting weight: 374 pounds
Goal weight: 175 pounds.
Here we go!!!
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